


Winter Flower

by ofreverentia



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Developing Relationship, Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, Injury Recovery, Kissing, M/M, Not Beta Read, Secret Crush, Song Lyrics, Tags Are Hard, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:34:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22209499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofreverentia/pseuds/ofreverentia
Summary: When Yuzuru was younger barely at the age of making his decision in life and definitely not ready to live alone in a country whose language he barely spoke, he met Javier.
Relationships: Javier Fernández & Yuzuru Hanyu, Javier Fernández/Yuzuru Hanyu
Comments: 4
Kudos: 58





	Winter Flower

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Thanks YT for the feels again. If you want to listen to the song it's Younha feat RM - Winter flower. She is an amazing singer I loved years ago and her voice is still as beautiful as ever. Give it a listen if you can: https://youtu.be/D-WEeTsh-ls

_(H_ _old on, hold on, hold on)_

_ Freezing cold wind of the winter _

_ Blooming alone under the deep footsteps _

_ I’m lost trying to find the reason _

_ I was born and met you _

When Yuzuru was younger barely at the age of making his decision in life and definitely not ready to live alone in a country whose language he barely spoke, he met Javier. He expected anything else but the warm smiles and even warmer hugs. They made him feel so secure and warm he wondered if this is what rivals do. As the weeks, months and years progressed he learned it was just something uniquely Javier and he couldn't be more thankful for the existence of the Spaniard. He showed him how to train, master the Salchow he wanted, got pushed to work hard for all the gold Medals and some silvers but if Javier stood above him on the podium he didn't feel as sad. 

Pyeongchang approached and then it was gone and as Javier prepared to empty the locker he used over the years Yuzuru watched with a weird clench in his chest. At the end of the day he just felt happy he could train with Javier and share all those years by his side. When the Olympic channel asked him for a message to be recorded for a video they would post he did not take longer than two seconds to say yes. Maybe this way he will be able to convey some of his feelings towards Javier without needing to look in his eyes. Because in that scenario he wouldn't be able to say anything. If his voice was shaky a bit and caught a few times in the short video he ignored it. At least he lasted until the recording was done to break down crying. 

_ The sighs are frozen tears _

_ Abandoned dreams give birth to other wounds _

_ Where is the end of this season _

_ If there’s eternity _

_ Hold on hold on hold on _

The season after Javiers departure is the hardest Yuzuru has experienced. Another injury that hits so close to home, his depression returning with full force, wondering if he can go on like this. If his dream of becoming a skater may have taken it's toll on his body for good. If this is the end of the road for him. Recovery is harder because now he doesn't have a certain Spaniard encouraging him even if he is going through basic stroking exercises. He is not there and Yuzuru fights tears at the end of each session for weeks. Then as a blinding light as if sent by some unknown power Javier steps inside the rink with his ever bright smile. He is here to train whatever he can for that seventh gold and Yuzuru feels like crying for a whole other reason. Maybe he can still fight, push himself and get through this season and then see in the summer if the fire is still there. He doesn't feel it now not in the intensity he did whenever he went to Worlds with Javier but he will try. Yuzuru promised Javier. 

_ (Hold on, hold on, hold on) _

_ Why did I meet you? _

_ Here, now, in this winter day _

_ When I close my eyes, spring seems so far away _

_ And there’s only cold breaths here _

_ I was born in crimson from the blood you shed this harsh winter _

_ Plum blossom, camellia, daffodil _

_ Yeah, call me whatever you want _

_ They say life is full of paradox _

Yuzuru finds it ironic to skate to a song about spring when all he feels the cold and unforgiving ice under his fingertips. His lips touch the surface and the short burn doesn't make him feel any warmth at all. He feels lonely, like he is in darkness. He was unable to bring gold in his own country and the whole competition was a struggle for him. Knowing Javier was somewhere close-by doing some kind of work for the Japanese TV about him made his stomach jump. 

He leaps one last time in his program and then the music softly fades and the tears are stinging in his eyes. He is unable to fight against the system with this broken body of his. Yuzuru fought tooth and nail, trained until bloody blisters appeared on his feet from new boots. He had done everything in his power to be on top of that podium but it wasn't enough. He wonders if maybe he should have concentrated less on skating and more on having a life outside of it. As he watches Javier approach their small TCC group in his soft sweater and jeans he wants nothing more than bury his face in his chest and cry for hours. Instead he forces a smile on his face and accepts the hug that sends a shiver down his spine. 

Later when the night is slowly coming to an end he is approached by Javier a gentle hand on his nape. He is unable to look away from those doe like eyes and the two return to his room. 

_ All you gotta do is gettin’ used to this marathon _

_ “Do you think the world is harsh on you only? _

_ Everyone has it hard” _

_ To the grown up you _

_ Those words can’t be your consolation _

_ Listen carefully, winter _

_ You made me bloom _

_ Now I will send forth my blue aroma with my branches _

_ I’ll show you that there’s another sky _

_ I’ll call forth the autumn that was once like you _

Yuzuru would like to know how they got here, with Javier in his hotel bed, gloriously naked, glowing and holding him in his strong arms. He felt safe and he couldn't help but bury his face in his in his chest, inhaling. Javier runs a finger through his hair and he is melting, the sound he made making Javiers chest rumble with a short laugh.

"Everything will be better. I hope you know that." Javier says and Yuzuru pushed up on his elbows to look down at the gorgeous man he had been in love with for years in his bed. When he leans down to kiss his lips and have it returned, he can't help but smile. 

"I know. Maybe not in my terms, or in the pace I want it but I think… I think it will be alright." Javier pulls him down again to kiss him, then with ease rolls then over to press Yuzuru into the mattress. As he tangles his fingers in those brown curls and let's his body open up all over again for Javier he knows the future is going to be different. Maybe he won't have spring but summer and autumn seem like a promising seasons too. Yuzuru loses track of his thoughts from then on lost in the pleasure but he can't wait to see what else is going to happen. For once he doesn't think all about skating because finally his life is showing him there is more to it than the unforgiving cold ice under his fingers. 

_ I never forget your warmth _

_ I’ll be the winter flower be the dancing star _

_ I’ll be by your side (Stay) _

_ I’m with you _

Yuzuru is healthy, he had won gold at all his competitions. While the scoring is unfair towards him, he knows this now because the system and judges keep showing their bias towards skaters who have less complexity in their skating but at the end of the day he doesn't care so much. Not when he receives a call from Spain hearing the soft voice of his lover, telling him how proud he is of him and how he can't wait to see him in Italy. Yuzuru is going to the Grand Prix Final and he is aiming for Nationals which he had missed for so many years now. But most importantly he has someone in his life now who is there for him even in his lows or heights. Which is ironic in that sense because Javier has been always there for him and while he thought he lost it when Javier retired here he is burying himself in his boyfriends embrace after his messed up short program in Turin. Javier is there holding him and making him feel better so the next day he is less upset but still tries that quad Axel in training making everyone gasp in the audience in surprise. Javier would tell him later he was insane but smile so bright and proud, kissing his smirk away. 

Now Yuzuru is upset, his lungs burning for air after his programs just as his eyes are but Javier calls him and everything is different. He puts his media face on, puts a lid on the emotions until he is not hiding in a bathroom stall from all the cameras aiming at his face and he can curl up against Javier in his hotel room. He may be crying, disappointed but Javier tells him he is a champion, a fighter a true lion regardless of his asthma attack after the short program. He did fight, didn't back down and 4CC and Worlds are coming. He has two more years to Beijing and there is so much more he can achieve. 

Yuzuru smiles between his tears and presses his lips to Javiers. Thankful that he is there, even if he still smells like airplane and long travels. He doesn't care. Javier is there and if he is going to be by his side maybe a stumble or two is not going to hurt that much anymore. 

_ I will take it away before you stumble _

_ I will stay by your side until you survive _

_ I hope you bloom _


End file.
